It occurred to me that Devin wasn’t speaking my love language. At least not fully, yet.
Before I continue I’m going to take you back in time.
My junior year at Brigham Young University, Devin and I were just friends; and even then, we spent every week together. We had talks about everything and anything. We drove to cool spots, and enjoyed the great outdoors as we got to know each other better.
On one particular night, when we were already more than friends, I remember just feeling so loved by him. It almost didn’t seem real. I didn’t think this existed.
Fast forward…5 years later, and our love definitely grew so much. More than I could have ever imagined.
At the same time, we became incredibly comfortable with each other. We reached that point where we also were brutally honest with one another. Sometimes a bit too much. Like the times it turned into a mean or hurtful comment.
After throwing some jabs at Devin, I realized I was being mean towards him with no explanations. I didn’t know why, myself.
I came across the 5 Love Languages website. (It was familiar because a friend of mine gave me the book when we got married). I took the test. My highest love language showed to be quality time. I had my husband take the test. His was the opposite of mine.
It then made sense why I was angry or rude towards Devin.
I knew he loved me, but I wasn’t sure I felt it. He wasn’t speaking my love language.
Devin tried showing me his love by cleaning the house, taking our son out for a walk (for me to have my “me-time”), and always snuggling close to me.
Meanwhile, I could care less that the house was messy, and would rather have him sit and talk to me. I liked when he gave me my time, but more than anything I wanted time well-spent with him. While I love his affections, sometimes I needed to not just feel his love, but hear why he loves me.
He spoke in his love language and I spoke in mine. That wasn’t going to work.
It is no wonder that I felt so much love from him while we were friends and while dating- because he took the time to listen. He took the time to speak what was in his heart. This meant more to me than receiving roses.
So, now we decided to work it out. It is as simple as this, but it takes a true desire to love and communicate. (Give it a try!)
We looked at our 5 love languages test results. We laughed about it, mostly because of how accurate our individual results portrayed us.
We learned about each other’s love language. We spoke about it. We prayed together. (Having God be a part of our relationship only kept drawing us closer to each other).
Then, we learned about our own love language, until we knew how to express what we wanted from the other person. It worked wonders!
I’m a die-hard believer in the 5 Love Languages. (I’ve mentioned it in a couple of other posts too). I am in no way, shape, or form selling this or getting paid to write this. I have my own testimonial to add. My own marriaged was heavily impacted by this.
(On a side note, just know that this concept of love can be applied to other relationships too, like parent to child, sibling to sibling, and friend to friend).
What’s your love language? Comment below.